if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
