so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
