From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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