Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
