u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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