Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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