Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
