sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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