Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
