glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
