If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
