I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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