for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
