This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
