How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
