sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
