Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
