some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
