In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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