Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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