I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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