Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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