Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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