I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize