too bad you live with your parents still
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
