Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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