When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I want is dick and wine.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
