How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
