She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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