i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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