I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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