I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize