youre lurking in front of me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
