i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize