Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so let's talk penis.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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