i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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