Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
