i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm both gender and math confused
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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