Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
