This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
