Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
