Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
