Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
