i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
