so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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