and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize