Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
