Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
