So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
