I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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