I want to make a zoo with you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
