Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
