Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
