Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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