i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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