he thought i was a dude.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
