she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
