you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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