he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
