forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
