Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
