would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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