why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
whose parrot is this?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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