Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
