i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
