Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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