I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
