He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
