i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
