is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
