I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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